Making History…Suck

As my first signal flare to the blogosphere to announce my existence, I feel it is my duty to spread the word about this horrible broad so we may point a finger of blame:

This is the woman who ruined The History Channel.  Now she will be taking over Lifetime according to a recent Yahoo article:

“Until Nancy Dubuc arrived and made History improbably hot, the TV network was little more than a place for old men to watch war movies. Now Dubuc is trying to freshen Lifetime, another outlet with a moldy reputation.”

Right out of the gate, us History Channel loving folk are portrayed as farty old men who rapped the television with a cane instead of getting a digital converter box when our cabinet style Zenith suddenly stopped working.

“Dubuc takes over a strong brand that’s not exactly destination viewing — just as History was when she assumed control three years ago.

This summer, the tandem of “American Pickers” and “Pawn Stars” is making Mondays on History one of the hottest nights on cable TV. The treasure-trawling shows are barely a year old, have inspired at least one imitator and just led History to its most-watched three months ever.”

If this claim of increased viewership is true, it reflects negatively on those who still watch television rather than the excellence of the network.

“The shows are a long way from documentaries on the War of 1812.”

No shit.

“History appears to have pulled off the delicate job of adding new fans without alienating the old ones. The network’s audience is still about two-thirds male, but the median age has dropped four years since 2006, the Nielsen Co. said.”

This I do not believe.  It’s hard to imagine any male watching a show on The Battle of the Bulge would think to himself, “I would really watch this channel more if it had reality shows.  How about hillbilly lumberjacks?  Hell yeah!”.

“Anything that attracts people to historical subjects, unless they contain truly distorting and disturbing messages, is good in my opinion,” said Joyce Appleby, co-director of the History News Service.”

Joyce Appleby should be fucking fired.  How in the hell is focusing on the “prophesies” of Nostradamus or the plethora of end-time scenarios NOT distorting and disturbing to any history loving person?  She should head to Lifetime along with Dubuc and they can concoct a witches brew of programming consisting of feminist empowerment and rape fantasies.

This woman has overwhelmingly alienated longtime fans of The History Channel.  If further proof than their atrocious “new direction” is required, take a gander at the reader comments.  Personally, I feel vindicated reading them.  I’ve been lamenting the programming on the History Channel for…well…three years now.  The History Channel used to be so interesting and informative.  Sure, I will admit that there was an overemphasis on WWII, but that does not justify ravaging the network.  Now we get mind-rot like MonsterQuest– the history of Rhinelander Hodag?, UFO Files– the history of loony conspiracy theorists, and the continued over-saturation of reality T.V.

The article makes no mention of the network’s obsession with pseudoscience and conspiracy theories.  These shows are featured predominately throughout the day and it is absolutely amazing how anyone could watch them after Robert Stack covered it all back in 1991.  Those nightmares have just finally gone away.  This sad, modern abomination only requires two episodes to realize that the crackpot “investigation teams” will never come up with any evidence of the Sasquatch other than footprints forged by beered-up hunters and clumps of hair consisting of deer pubes.  Regardless of how many Indian guides they bring with them.

It used to be a “man thing” to get sucked into an obscure History Channel show on a random afternoon.  I’m genuinely saddened by the fact that that has become a thing of the past.  I guess you could say “it’s history”.  Oh, isn’t irony ironic?

A commenter going by the handle “Ohhim” summed it up the best:

“History Channel once had legitimacy and authenticity giving students and fans of history a wellspring of information. Now it is a dumping ground of pseudo science junk and time wasting drivel. This woman and her kind have helped to dumb down the American viewer in order to claim success at selling more advertising rather than make a minor cable network into a success. It is not a success and is one of the reasons so many people that want shows with depth and insight are leaving television for some of the small but infinitely more substantial offering on the internet.”

Indeed.

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “Making History…Suck

  1. Bob the Kat

    from 2010 😛
    Things have only gotten worse on the hillbilly boob toob.
    Very nice article, appreciated by former Hystery Chan viewers.
    Maybe in another 3 yrs there will be an alien implant for intelligence
    on US teevee, but not holding my breath.
    Glad for BBC, streaming sites- rarely even check the tube anymore…
    Thanks, they’ve mad it too difficult to complain on the history.com site 😉

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